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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27081553">when the clouds part</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/konoco/pseuds/konoco'>konoco</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Persona 5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Character Study, Gen, Kinda, Not Beta Read, Post-Canon, goro is dead in here btw, may or may not have subtle romantic undertones, not like they can do anything about them, p5r spoiler free, vanilla p5 spoilers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-09 02:01:03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,160</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27081553</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/konoco/pseuds/konoco</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>In every little thing he sees, in every little moment he encounters, there are the hints of something that is just so exquisitely Akechi Goro, and Kurusu Akira feels like drowning, every single time.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Akechi Goro &amp; Kurusu Akira</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>when the clouds part</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>In every little thing he sees, in every little moment he encounters, there are the hints of something that is just so exquisitely Akechi Goro, and Kurusu Akira feels like drowning, every single time.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Let’s settle on the cold, hard fact that Akechi Goro is dead. Futaba’s signals never lie, and if they did, one or all of the Phantom Thieves would be dead. Once something disappeared into thin air, to never be seen again, then what more will </span>
  <em>
    <span>“missing”</span>
  </em>
  <span> do to comfort them when he could just be </span>
  <em>
    <span>“dead”?</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>(Grieving wasn’t something Akira had time for.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’d just about collapsed on his bed with only flashes of the day’s events crossing his mind when he’s met with a new goal. Morgana had only allowed a small murmur of his name and a face that expressed his sadness and pity before he was already back and up with the motivation of someone who wanted to make sure no one would end up with the same fate as Goro, or any of them, for that matter.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He forgot the presence of Goro too early on. He didn’t mean to. It wasn’t as though Goro was a memory meant to be preserved — if anything, not remembering the boy would be better. He wasn’t under any obligation to try to remember a traitor, even if in the end, he sacrificed himself for them. For his sake. He’s already fulfilled the promise he made to Goro, who was now a ghost. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There’s a voice in his head that laughed at him, told him there could only be so much he could hope for when it came to the death of a loved one. Was that who Goro was to him? A friend? Someone he loved? Misery was inevitable, and taking things for granted was a byproduct of one’s nature to need to survive. By the time Goro’s death, something that happened in front of him, something that he wasn’t anticipating, had finally caught up to him, he already lost all the words he wanted to say.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The human mind is in constant disarray, but there will always be something that lingers around, an image of a smiling face and the echoes of a honeyed voice that appear in the corner of his eye, eliciting Akira to start a conversation.)</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His university cafe had a new part-timer. She was tall, just around Akira’s ear. A keen eye for her surroundings and a quick learner. Akira’s only taught her for about half an hour and she already knows enough to have her work at the front counter and make most of what’s on the menu. Brown hair and sweaters. A witty way of conversing with people.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akira shakes his head. He tilts the cup and adds just the right amount of milk to make somewhat decent latte art. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Goro liked watching him do latte art, even if he usually just ordered a plain cup of the day’s current coffee beans, which didn’t exactly need any milk added to them. </span>
  <em>
    <span>There is a charm found in the natural flavors of things,</span>
  </em>
  <span> Sojiro once told them. He’s never managed to tell Goro, but he looked like someone who’d appreciate a craft that involved intricacy and accuracy. It pretty much described how Goro was, after all.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kurusu? Your cup’s ready to serve.” His co-worker says, and the flash of brown is what first registers to his eyes, and then the face of a girl he barely even knows. Akira gives her a small smile and places the cup on the counter, hoping that she feels that he’s not really in the mood to answer any questions that started with </span>
  <em>
    <span>are you okay?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akira used to tell Goro some of the fun trivia he learns from the coffee crossword puzzles Sojiro sometimes leaves on the table. New facts were, to Goro, still facts, which could become vital information for him in the future, and he always listened so eagerly. Sometimes he’s like a child so curious about the world, and sometimes he’s like the inquisitive detective he is, but never would his disinterest show. If there was any, to begin with.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Goro Akechi was someone who prized knowledge. It’s how he keeps up with people, how he gains the upper-hand. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Maybe if Goro was here—</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>—Akira held his breath. </span>
  <em>
    <span>And if he was?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The bell above their cafe’s door rings and Akira puts on a smile and greets the new customer. A fidgeting freshman who seemed to have no clue as to what to order.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s not sure why he’s disappointed when he didn’t seem like he was expecting someone else in the first place.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>(Goro once told him something about wanting to become an unforgettable person to someone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was a silent evening in Leblanc. Sojiro went out for a smoke. Akira knows that Goro had a somewhat unique way of starting conversations out of the blue, but this was new.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s one of the sudden questions that come from out of nowhere whenever Goro’s deep in thought and looking down on his cup of coffee. Akira entertains this vulnerable side of Goro, and asks, “Why is that?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Goro shakes his head, and for a moment, Akira worries he broke the other boy out of his trance, but then he replies, “It’s not really something that needs a reason. Don’t you think it’s a nice feeling, being remembered? Being someone that could be on a person’s mind for a long time, like a necklace you wear around your neck, or a glove that you always wear in winter.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re the famous ace detective, Akechi. People will surely remember you.” Akira prods around, even if he knows this wasn’t what Goro meant when he said those words to him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Imagine being remembered as Akechi Goro. I could only wish. I barely even have anyone who knows my favorite color.” Goro lightly scoffs, sipping some coffee from his cup as Akira watches.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then, what’s your favorite color? I’ll make sure to buy you a scarf.” Akira jokes, eager to see what Goro’s reaction would be, wondering how much his words weigh to this would-be traitor, to this lonely detective who only had himself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I appreciate a lovely shade of red,” Goro tells him, with a little smile gracing his face under the light of Leblanc’s interior. “And a little smear of black.”)</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The Phantom Thieves chat room was loud. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Literally.</span>
  </em>
  <span> The constant pings from his phone as he tries to finish an essay is as distracting as he can get, but if he’s able to make five lockpicks in the presence of Morgana’s yowls as a highschooler, then finishing a 500-word essay is no problem for him even in the presence of his phone’s ringtone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Futaba was setting foot into college in about a year, and she was taking up her program in the same university Akira is in. He couldn’t be prouder, seeing the same person who used to accompany him to Shujin just to know what it felt like roaming the school halls and being around other students her age. Morgana can finally alternate living between their rooms now, considering that Futaba was planning on living in a solo residency dorm, which was only a street away from Akira’s apartment complex. Very much like the distance from Leblanc to Sojiro’s house.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ann and Ryuji are the leading people of the chat room, and occasionally, Yusuke would pipe in sometimes. Makoto could be lurking, perhaps she was studying like Akira. Haru was probably in class, Akira doesn’t know too much about time differences, but if she was active then she would be responding as well.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They all seemed to be doing great, and Akira’s can’t be happier. Not after the things they’ve been dragged into years ago. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Goro was never too… active in chat rooms as the other members were. And even if he was, his presence wouldn’t last too long, because he’d be leaving not even before the moon could complete its phases later the day Akira gets caught in Sae’s palace.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was probably just Akira, but Goro looks like the type who’s not too fond of using technology to make meaningful conversations with.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Perhaps it was because Goro had a way with speaking that made his words sound better and more genuine when they were said with his voice than when he types them out on his phone. It’s the way he’s better understood, with all the tilts and tones in his voice that bring about the things he wants to emphasize. Goro wouldn’t be a great conversationalist if he wasn’t a great speaker, and he’s both of those.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akira thinks Goro is honestly intelligent. Not highly, or immensely. Not one who seemed as though he would be too smart to approach or understand, but one who knows how to play his cards well while being considerate of the people he talks to. Goro Akechi is kind, and though he’s, well, Goro Akechi, there’s still a part of him that seemed to be warm and true once you see it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There’s a lot of words right now that he wishes Goro could hear because he’s the only one who’d be able to understand him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Do you mean to say that these words are meant for me?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His voice is choked, and a reply is ready on the tip of his tongue. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I didn’t mean to answer a ghost.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>One of these nights, he bought himself a new singular chess piece. He placed it on a table, played with the ghost that sits in the back of his mind, the silly move if you’re there, Goro, just at the tip of his tongue, as though Goro was somewhere out there fetching something for Akira and him to use. He’s not messing with anyone, though. The only thing he’s messing with is his mind.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akira has faced too many things in his life, handled them with the precision of the thief that he plays as, wondered whether this was something he was born for or if this was what everything he’s ever lived through molded him for. Suddenly being met with the underlying possibility that your entire life had been some god’s plaything makes you wonder just how real being alive was.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As much as he tried to bury it all in the past, it will always reach him in the present. A shadow that only goes away when he’s in too deep, and neither honestly sounds great. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Goro was someone who didn’t look as though he was thoroughly bothered by the things that happen around him. But looking back at it, he was indeed that kind of person. Overly self-conscious. He probably thinks too much sometimes, seeing the dazed expression on his face sometimes when he gazes upon his cup of coffee, whether he was in deep thought or simply staring off into nothing, Akira never inquired. Goro used to ask him vague questions, around those moments. Questions about the type of coffee he drinks, or the fond memories that he has of his childhood. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akira decides that maybe the questions weren’t for them. He answered, either way, and only then is Goro awoken from his solemn thinking and is followed by a profuse apology that could only be considered as sincere if it came from the mouth of someone like him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There’s a ghost in the back of his mind that haunts him everywhere he goes. A small subconscious part of him that answers aloud to the questions that only he could hear, that felt like collecting things that could make no one around him all too interested except for someone he once knew, that never felt alone even when he stares at the ceiling, eyes wide open and the air around him cold. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Maybe this is how he suffers, to the hands of a memory that he struggled to keep close to his heart during the times that it could’ve been forgotten or erased entirely. Maybe it made no sense to curse a dead god, knowing fully well that the prayers fueled by spite can never bring back Akechi Goro to this world. Maybe he just wanted to meet Goro again without having to make a promise that was practically another term for a goodbye, tell him everything he keeps inside his mind when he sees detectives and the shades of amber and brown, everything he wrote on the letters he burned with the smoke rising up to the sky and the ashes buried in a box with Goro’s tie.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There is a ghost, and it lingers everywhere like the ever-present scent of flowers in a garden, like the constant bustling of the city he lives in, like the memories of the day he lost someone who could’ve been so much more to him than he could ever imagine.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>And he’s not sure if he wants it to stay, or if he wants it to disappear. </span>
</p>
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